Handbook for Mortals : Questions About Funerals

What details of the services must I plan for?

• What kind of memorial service will there be? If it is to be in a church or synagogue or other public building, speak to someone there to find out what will need to be arranged.
• Music and art are often an important part of memorializing the dead. Families might well want favorite music played and religious or family pictures displayed.
• Did the person have clothing in which he or she wanted to be buried? Making plans like this ahead of time can be meaningful.
• Do you have something you feel appropriate to wear to a funeral or that you feel comfortable in? Many people discover that their wardrobe has nothing that feels right. One certainly need not wear black any more in most religious traditions, but it still often seems that one should be somber and conservative.
• Are there any rings, jewels, or special mementos to be placed with the body? Some people like to leave a ring, others to remove it; some like to slip a letter or note in the casket, or to place a favorite picture or blanket.
• Should flowers or donations in lieu of flowers be encouraged? If donations, to what cause or charity?
• Will there be an open or closed casket? If closed, will there be a private time for family to have it open?
• Where will the burial or scattering be? If burial or entombment, who owns the plot? What permissions and notices are needed?

• What is the value of advance planning?
• What will be done with the body?
• How long to wait before burial or cremation
• Religious and family traditions
• Viewings and visiting hours
• After the burial or cremation
• Death notices and obituaries

Related subjects:

• Coping With Events Near Death

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